Sunday, May 8, 2011
Dilemma
If your nearest and dearest are not in a good place, bitter, tired, sad, mourning, stuck - whatever, not ready to change (important friends and family we're talking about) but you are in a good place, what do u do? They want to be happy for you but can't genuinely be, it's colored with annoyance, suspision...u must be on something and not sharing ...jealousy, envy (so have been there myself) BUT But when one is ready to grab life by the horns and live out loud, you don't want to go on that journey alone. Problem. I am a very solution oriented person, loyal and loving, but I can't fix this. I guess I hang in, respect the things I love and cherish about my dear ones and try to at least be an example that things do change, sometimes even for the better.
Saturday, April 16, 2011
My day my way
A lovely young neighbor of mine told me I should write a book. This is not the first time I have heard this. Today we were just girl-talking and having a "heart to heart" "Sara" was lamenting over her old boyfriend and although she had friends with benefits, there was no "Mr. Right" - "Mr. Dawon" coming along. She felt like she was clueless when it came to understanding men and was always being taken for granted. Always the giver, always putting herself and her needs second. She loved my advice and wisdom....so here it is, I've decided to start a blog.
Family is important and you're stuck with them. So try to be considerate and nice to them. blood is blood. Friends, lovers, jobs, pets, cars - we have choice. Try to think before you blurt (and possibly hurt) and as to the lonely and fabulous women out there Hello. If you want to get a guy you must connect with YOUR INNER BITCH.You have to find this part of yourself and love her. If you come across a guy you like give it a shot, go on that first date. Look nice, smell nice, be friendly but a little distracted. Don't immediately start your mental check list, just see how comfortable you are, how's he doing, how's it going. Be cool. As soon as you catch yourself being your "ususal self" whatever that is- too sympathetic, too willing, too accommodating, too complimetary, needy, chatty, slutty, whatever - STOP. Pause, fluff your hair slowly and absent-mindedly, lick your lips, take a deep breath, arch your back, stick your chest out and slow things down. Ten just ignore whatever he or you just said and smile like you have a secret, a great, private little secret. Let him start talking, wait, wait even if it gets awkward. Then be interested but make him carry the conversation and look at you. Is he leaning forward? Are his feet pointed towards you, is his body in a similar position to you - are you mirroring him? If he bothers to do any of these things, especially pick up the converstion, he's interested and you have the power. Use it wisely.
Learning to summon your "inner bitch" this is the key point here. What or who your inner bitch is -only you can decide. Once you learn to dothisit's very empowering. Who do you have an easy time bully-ing or manipulating? Mom, Daddy, Grandma, your Starbuck's barrista, your doorman, co-woker, boss? Go there. Maybe you need a mental image - picture yourself walking all over this guy in your favorite Jimmy Choos or Doc Martins. Create word or image that reminds you to "check" your nice girl behaviour- your giving, sweet, kind, consideralte, worried if he's having a good time crap. Cancel-cancel. Think this: he wants you and he's got your attention for 5 minutes... now leave him wanting more. When things are fun and going great - leave. Yes, you must Make sure he has your number or you have his and he calls you right back. If he does not call you within 3 days, just say "Next!" and move on.
Family is important and you're stuck with them. So try to be considerate and nice to them. blood is blood. Friends, lovers, jobs, pets, cars - we have choice. Try to think before you blurt (and possibly hurt) and as to the lonely and fabulous women out there Hello. If you want to get a guy you must connect with YOUR INNER BITCH.You have to find this part of yourself and love her. If you come across a guy you like give it a shot, go on that first date. Look nice, smell nice, be friendly but a little distracted. Don't immediately start your mental check list, just see how comfortable you are, how's he doing, how's it going. Be cool. As soon as you catch yourself being your "ususal self" whatever that is- too sympathetic, too willing, too accommodating, too complimetary, needy, chatty, slutty, whatever - STOP. Pause, fluff your hair slowly and absent-mindedly, lick your lips, take a deep breath, arch your back, stick your chest out and slow things down. Ten just ignore whatever he or you just said and smile like you have a secret, a great, private little secret. Let him start talking, wait, wait even if it gets awkward. Then be interested but make him carry the conversation and look at you. Is he leaning forward? Are his feet pointed towards you, is his body in a similar position to you - are you mirroring him? If he bothers to do any of these things, especially pick up the converstion, he's interested and you have the power. Use it wisely.
Learning to summon your "inner bitch" this is the key point here. What or who your inner bitch is -only you can decide. Once you learn to dothisit's very empowering. Who do you have an easy time bully-ing or manipulating? Mom, Daddy, Grandma, your Starbuck's barrista, your doorman, co-woker, boss? Go there. Maybe you need a mental image - picture yourself walking all over this guy in your favorite Jimmy Choos or Doc Martins. Create word or image that reminds you to "check" your nice girl behaviour- your giving, sweet, kind, consideralte, worried if he's having a good time crap. Cancel-cancel. Think this: he wants you and he's got your attention for 5 minutes... now leave him wanting more. When things are fun and going great - leave. Yes, you must Make sure he has your number or you have his and he calls you right back. If he does not call you within 3 days, just say "Next!" and move on.
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